I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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