So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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