At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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