Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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