How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
