I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Oh god it's open bar.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
