A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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