i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
a search helicopter?!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
