how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
