Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
