Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
