This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
