forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
