The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
