you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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