You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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