hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
