nut hugger
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
