We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
