fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
