billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
