I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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