We're like a lot better than the average bears
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Shame - the story of my life.
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