I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I need water and some morals
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
