Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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