the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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