he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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