I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
