Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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