we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Randomize
