he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I want her autograph on my taint
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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