did you get engaged???
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
