im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
