Just cropdusted the office
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
