just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
