put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
