I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
