Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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