She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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