i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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