If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
