My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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