Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
