yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
