At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
