I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
