I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
im six kinds of drunk right now
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
did i walk over a car last night?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
