Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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