im about as happy as oj after his trial
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
