I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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