Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
