it hurts more in the daytime
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
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